{Desirae} So Lost Without You...

[Sparrow]

Sparrow left the kitchen completely angry and frustrated. He and Desirae had just had their first and most major fight and he didn't know where to go or what to do. Unfortunatly, that decision was about to be made for him.

I didn't even do anything. She was the one sneaking around with some other dude, and she doesn't understand why I'm mad? How stupid is tha... Sparrow's underbreath rant was suddenly broken by a tap on the shoulder. He whirled around to find a small boy holding out an envelope to him.

Are... are you S...Sp...Sparrow James? The little one stuttered, obviously shaken by Sparrow's temperment.
Yes. Is that for me? Sparrow said more calmly, trying to comfort him.
Mhmm. The kid handed the envelope to him and rushed up the stairs.

Sparrow watched him go with a slight chuckle and ripped open the envelope. As he scanned the words in front of him, Sparrow's knees buckled beneath him and he slid down to sit on the stairs slowly. In shock, Sparrow put his head in hands and closed his eyes, muttering to himself.
There's no way... no way...he.. he can't be dead...

[Sinclair]

Desirae wasn't feeling much better, but she wasn't curled up on the kitchen floor crying anymore, so she'd come a long way in her own mind. She'd even summoned the courage to walk out of the kitchen and, perhaps outside for some fresh air and a place to hide. That was until she froze, staring straight at a little boy handing Sparrow something- not that she really cared about the little boy. Sparrow opened the letter, but Desirae was slowly inching back, hoping to run away. She didn't seem to realize that she could disappear in that instant, she was a bit too stunned. It was almost like, considering what had happened, it should have been physically impossible to see him again. But it wasn't. Before she could fixate on the fact that they shouldn't be so close to one another and before she could make her silent escape, she noticed that whatever was in that letter really bothered Sparrow. Without hesitation Desirae disappeared from sight and approached Sparrow to get a better look at his expression. She wasn't going to read the letter, though she knew she could if she wanted to. Desirae was not one to invade his privacy like that.

Desirae jumped back, letting out a slight yip when he slid down. She hadn't anticipated his movement and he'd almost touched her, not that he'd be able to see that. She bit her lip hard, watching him intently only to find that he began speaking. For an instant she thought he was addressing her, but instead he began to say something about someone not being dead. Desirae's mind went to the only person she knew Sparrow cared about- Falcon. No matter how mad she was, no matter what had just happened between them, she couldn't resist attempting to comfort him. She did care about him and that wasn't going to change. She'd always be there for him and in a time like this, it seemed he needed her. Desirae moved to his side, careful not to touch him at first, before she appeared as though she'd been there all along. Her hand, with a gentle hesitant touch, reached up to make her presence known and to offer a comforting touch to his arm. She was certain that she didn't know what to say to him, so she said nothing at all. She didn't dare, even if she knew what to say- last time she'd spoken, it'd gotten her into a mess she couldn't handle. And now was not the time to discuss the turn their relationship had taken, not with him upset about something that seemed much, much bigger.

[Sparrow]

Sparrow heard the sound but didn't even register it. That could have potentially been bad in certain situations, but at the moment, he could care less. And then Desirae appeared.

In his grief-stricken mind, Sparrow hardly remembered their oh so recent fight. Her slow and gentle touch on his arm only brought him comfort during his vulnerable time. He slid his arm softly out from under her hand and intertwined their fingers instead. As his fingers lightly massaged hers, he spoke.

My dad is dead. his voice was rough and shaken from its usual steady tone. I didn't even get to know him and now he's gone. I'll... never get that chance.

[Sinclair]

Desirae hated to say it, but his touch brought more comfort to her than she would have expected to be providing for him. To account for this, she drew her free arm around Sparrow in some attempt to both be closer and to be hugging him as well as she could manage.

Desirae wasn't one to have a great home life, but she could still remember the day she met Sparrow and when she told him that Falcon had raised him. That was scary for her to hear. For him to say he had a father after all, yet that he hadn't met him made Desirae's heart ache with sympathy.

"I'm sorry, that isn't fair. . ."Desirae stated. She wished she could have taken his pain away, that she could say something that would make it all better, but Desirae was fairly certain that there was nothing she could say to make something this serious any better. On the other hand, she was very relieved that it wasn't Falcon who had died- that would have been too much to bear, she was sure of it.

The only thing that made sense for Desirae to do to help the situation was to get the name of Sparrow's father so that she could attempt to gather who the man might have known. Perhaps stories of him would paint a picture for Sparrow, perhaps that would ease his pain a bit. It wouldn't be easy, Desirae knew that, and it would take time. Desirae couldn't think of anything else that she could possibly do, anything that would help the situation. She wasn't going to tell him what she was thinking, what she was planning- not in this moment at least.

[Sparrow]

As Desirae's arm wrapped around him, Sparrow let his head drop down on her shoulder and crumpled the letter into a parchment colored ball. He never wanted to meet me either, you know. I don't know why I want to now. I guess just 'cause he's gone and I can't go back. Sparrow licked his lips thoughtfully and lifted his head up to look at Desirae.

Look Des, I'm sorry. I overeacted and I was wrong. I don't want to fight with you. You mean too much to me. Sparrow pleaded with her, looking her in her beautiful eyes.

[Sinclair]

Desirae considered telling him of her plan to help him learn about his father now that he was a bit calmer, but she decided that it just wasn't the right time. She was actually quite nervous still. Unlike Sparrow who seemed to be thinking of more than just the current state of their relationship, she was focused almost completely on just that. She definitely hadn't forgotten and she was, if anything, just trying her best not to be upset now. She had to be somewhat strong for Sparrow- crying over what had just transpired between would do neither of them any good.

Desirae reluctantly removed her arm so that she could draw her fingers along his cheek. as he gazed into her eyes, telling her that he was sorry. Her expression showed nothing short of guilt.

"No, Sparrow. No."Desirae objected softly, shaking her head slightly though her eyes never left him."You weren't wrong at all, and I don't want you to be sorry. I should have listened to you. I don't want you to ever have to question my faithfulness. I love you and I shouldn't have been alone with him. I didn't think it through. I promise, next time I meet some guy, I will introduce him to you long before I'm alone with him. I didn't mean to hurt you. I should be asking your forgiveness, not the other way around."

[Sparrow]

Sparrow gently took her other hand off his cheek so that he was holding both her hands now and their faces were close enough to touch if they both leaned forward.

Yeah but I was possessive and stupid. You don't need my permission for things and I don't want to be the guy that requires it. I love you too. He reached out and softly kissed her lips. As he pulled back, a genuine smile spread through his face, making the sad circles under his eyes appear much smaller.

Since we both want to take the fall, let's just admit we were both wrong and end this stupid thing right now. Deal? He asked, lifting up one of their joined hands to move a strand of hair from her face.

[Sinclair]

Desirae was tempted to lean closer to him as he drew her close, holding both of her hands. It was actually quite refreshing, it made her feel like everything was going to be okay once more.

Before she could follow her impulse to lean forward, he spoke and she listened silently, staying still. She would have argued fiercely to him saying that he was possessive and stupid- he had every right to be possessive, she was his fiancee, and Sparrow was anything but stupid. Besides, there was a fine line between him requiring permission for things and him wanting to know she wasn't cheating on him or messing around with other guys. Desirae was about to argue this point when he kissed her. All resistance, all tension seemed to leave her body almost instantly. Suddenly she didn't want to argue with him at all.

When Sparrow broke the kiss and smiled, Desirae's own expression shifted into a content, bright smile.

"That's a wonderful idea, Sparrow,"Desirae agreed somewhat passively, her voice taking on an almost dreamy tone."And we should avoid fighting in the future- it's very unpleasant, Sparrow. I think I've had you angry at me one too many times already."Desirae added, perhaps unhelpfully. When she said she had him angry at her one too many times, she was very aware of the fact that he'd only been really mad at her once, but that one time was too many times for her.

[Sparrow]

But Sparrow, after being with Desirae for this long, knew exactly what she meant and it made his blue eyes twinkle with humor.

It's pretty unpleasant for me too. So I think we should definitely refrain from fighting. He admitted as he stood up, helping her up with him and releasing one of her hands to grab the crumpled paper beneath them. Sparrow stuffed it into his jacket pocket and decided to tell Falcon about it later, assuming he himself hadn't found out yet. Speaking of Falcon...

Oh hey, Sparrow started as a realization hit him. Clutching Desirae's hand in his own, Sparrow began walking up the stairs without a real direction. He just enjoyed walking with his fiancee. Totally meant to tell you this but it slipped my mind during... well, what just happened. Falcon is um, well, he is back. In Bayville. For awhile anyway. Sparrow free hand rubbed his neck nervously, wondering how Desirae could possibly react to this out of the blue statement.

[Sinclair]

"Mhhmm,"she agreed. At the moment Desirae was just enjoying her good mood, she really didn't have much to say, but she hardly wanted him to think that she was ignoring him or that she merely didn't want to respond. When he stood up she followed suit, smiling as he helped her do so. Her expression slipped subtly when he let go of one of her hands- if he thought he was going to say goodbye now, if he thought she was going to let him just walk away, he was very mistaken.

Fortunately he didn't let go of her other hand and he used his free hand to pick up a paper. That was a good sign in Desirae's mind. She still wasn't quite smiling with the radiating happiness that she'd been feeling just seconds before. Only when he began walking with her hand still in his did her expression brighten again, even promoting a laugh to escape her lips. It didn't last long. Sparrow's bit of news made Desirae literally stop. Her expression was blank as she stared at him, taking in the information. It only lasted a few seconds though before she willed herself forward to continue walking.

"He is?"Desirae's tone was subdued as thoughts raced through her head. Though she'd jokingly said that she didn't want to share Sparrow, she was glad Falcon was around. But it did make her think about how she'd thought Falcon was dead initially when Sparrow read the letter. And it also made her silently question why Sparrow would keep something like that from her. He made it sound like he really would have told her today had she not upset him. So why didn't she believe him? Why did she think he was just telling her that to remind her that she'd started a silly fight with him? No matter, she wasn't going to let her hurt feelings cause another fight. So she smiled, hoping to disarm him a bit so that he wouldn't see the emotions Desirae was feeling. That was also the reason she wasn't jumping at the chance to say any more to him. She didn't want to give anything away, at least not until she'd sorted through it and could do so without being too emotional.

[Sparrow]

Yeah. He just like appeared, on the rooftop when I was there. And he's staying in town but I don't know for how long. Its kind of taken me by surprise.

Sparrow shook his head in disbelief. Desirae was smiling as he spoke, but her eyes told a different story. Hey, what's wrong? He kept their slow pace but spoke quietly. Look, I'm sorry if I waited too long to tell you but its so weird for me, him being here. Its like, its not even real. And I wasn't sure what you would think... its just crazy right now. He really surprised me with this. Please don't be mad. Sparrow begged, wishing she would say something.

[Sinclair]

"I am not mad at you, Sparrow,"Desirae objected almost instantly before she stopped again and stepped in front of him before she placed her free hand on his chest as if to stop him, too, or to keep him still. Either one, it wasn't needed and she knew that.

"I am not mad at you. Nothing's wrong. Don't be sorry, it's alright. He's not my brother- you didn't have to tell me at all."Desirae stated firmly before a carefree smile took over her expression."Anyway, where are you planning on taking me, mister?" Her voice held a tone close to giggling. A truly light sound, really. Not that she really cared what the answer to the question was, she was just mildly curious and she didn't want Sparrow to feel like he had to tell her more about Falcon if he didn't want to.

[Sparrow]

Sparrow stopped abruptly when Desirae halted in front of him and didn't protest her touch. He believed her.

Ok. Allright, we're good. But he is soon to be your brother-in-law so I thought you should most definetly know. He laughed at her comical question and the matching expression on her face.

No where in particular to be honest. I just thought we could walk and perhaps talk about our wedding? We haven't had much time besides the e-mails to do so. By the way, you should giggle more often. I love it. He added, leaning down to kiss her quickly and then holding out his left hand for her to take if she chose to.

[Sinclair]

"You have a point, I suppose he will."Desirae agreed, her tone almost thoughtful. She was grinning though, and then smiling as Sparrow laughed.

Had he ended his statement at the mere mention of the word wedding, Desirae would have giggled. The wedding was going to be so much fun! She was really looking forward to it. But he went on to speak so she refrained from making any noise at all, really. When he said she should giggle more, she smiled before meeting his quick kiss.

"I'll try to remember that,"Desirae's voice was genuinely sweet as she spoke. Then she took Sparrow's offered hand in her own before she stepped to his side, staying close to him all the while.

"That's a great idea. Especially since I'm sure you'd let me have my way - you're very sweet to me and do spoil me terribly, love."Desirae informed Sparrow knowingly before adding,"That's why I want to know what you want. It has to be our wedding. Besides, I don't think the decorations, the colors, the dress or even the people there will matter to me nearly as much as the fact that the wedding will make me Desirae James."

[Sparrow]

I wish I spoiled you more. But it delighted Sparrow to hear he was doing a good job as Desirae's partner. He continually struggled to make their relationship work from far away and to know Des was happy was the greatest thing she could have said.

Except for what she said next. Though Sparrow was not as emotional as he used to be, her statement floored him. It had never really hit home to him that Desirae would become his wife in name. The wedding and everything always seemed so distant but her sentence made it seem so... real.

You're right. Wow, Desirae James. That is so... amazing. I can't believe you will be my wife in just a few short months. It's unbelievable. You're unbelievable. Sparrow ranted, his eyes lighting up with sheer joy. I never pictured anyone wanting to be my Mrs. but you do. That's incredible, it really is. I love you so much Dessy, I should say that more often. Sparrow's voice was soft. He was still completely taken aback by the reality of their union.